Healing From Autistic Burnout Pt. 3: Find Support

Welcome to the third part in my series on Autistic Burnout. If you’re new here, I highly recommend starting from the beginning to get the full context of what Autistic burnout is, how it manifests, and the foundational steps to address it. For those who are continuing the journey with me, I’m glad you’re back. Today, we’re diving into a crucial topic: creating a network of support to prevent and heal from Autistic burnout.

Autistic burnout is an overwhelming state of chronic exhaustion, loss of skills, and reduced tolerance to sensory stimuli. One of the most effective ways to heal and prevent Autistic burnout is by building a strong, reliable support network. Such a network can provide the emotional, practical, and sometimes physical help needed to manage and recover from burnout.

A Support Network is Essential

Although finding, creating, and maintaining a support network can be challenging for Autistics, having a support network is important. Despite the popular misconception, we are social beings who require connection to others in one form or another. Why is a support network so important?

1. Shared Understanding: Autistics face unique challenges that may not be easily understood by neurotypical individuals. Simply having a support network of people who “get it” in and of itself is incredibly healing and validating.
2. Practical Assistance: From help with daily tasks to providing accommodations at work or home, practical support can reduce the overwhelming load that often leads to burnout. We can ask for practical assistance from our friends and loved ones, but we can also seek this type of support in more formal ways: work accommodations, meal delivery, house cleaning, etc.
3. Emotional Support: Masking often means holding your emotions and stressors inward, but having someone to talk to who understands or is willing to listen can make a significant difference. It may be safer to unmask and get emotional support from friends, family, or professional counselors familiar with the Autistic experience. Being able to offer emotional support to others is just as important.
4. Resource Sharing: A group of people who “get it” can share valuable resources, such as strategies for managing sensory overload, tips for executive functioning, or recommendations for affirming professionals. I’ve also found it incredibly affirming to hear about other people who share the same experience. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had the “Oh, I do that because Autism!” epiphany just by hearing other people’s experiences.

Steps to Building Your Support Network

Here’s the challenge: Building your Autistic support network. Going places, initiating conversation, trying to figure out if someone wants to be friends or is just being friendly, trying to figure out if a person is safe – we don’t have the easiest time building relationships.

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We can look at two main types of support – formal and informal. Formal supports are a little easier, if you have the means. You identify your needs, you make a budget, locate financial support if needed, and you hire out the support. Informal supports are not as easy, but the process is relatively straightforward – follow your SPINs and the support network will follow.

1. Identify Your Needs
   Understand what you need from your support network. Reflect on the areas where you feel most vulnerable or overwhelmed. Where are you having the most difficulty?
   • Which daily tasks are most challenging for you?
   • In what situations do you feel the most sensory overload?
   • What types of emotional support are most comforting for you?
   • Are there specific skills or areas where you need assistance or accommodations?
2. Reach Out to Family and Friends
   Start with the people you already know. Who do you trust? People who care about you want to offer help and support, within their own boundaries of course. Share information about Autistic burnout and your specific experiences. Ask for help in very specific ways: “Can you help me with grocery shopping once a week?” or “I need a quiet place to rest when I visit.” When people already understand your needs and limits, it becomes easier to set boundaries. It’s okay to say no to social activities if you need rest.
3. Find Like-Minded Individuals
   My relationship with other Autistic and neurodivergent people are the easiest and most valuable relationships. How do you find your people? SPINs, of course. Find people with a shared passion and the rest will follow. Check out the Double-Empathy Problem on why it might be easier to connect with other neurodivergent people. Where can you find your people? I recommend online communities and local or online classes or events related to your SPINs.
4. Professional Support
   Find therapy and medical professionals who understand Autistic experiences, including the nature of Autistic burnout. Also consider paid assistance with practical needs, such as housekeeping, dog walking, or meal delivery.
5. Utilize Technology
   Technology can be a great ally in building and maintaining your support network:
   • Apps: It might be a bit weird to think of an app as part of your support network. However, there are many apps designed to help with task management, mental health, and communication. And we’re just beginning to scratch the surface of how AI apps like ChatGPT and Perplexity can help us in our day-to-day lives.
   • Virtual Groups: Especially if in-person meetups are overwhelming or inaccessible, virtual groups can offer connection and support from your home. No driving, no worrying about how you’re dressed, and it’s easy to leave or turn off your camera if you become overwhelmed.
   • Telehealth and Virtual Charts: Many therapists and doctors offer telehealth services, making it easier to access their services. Many also offer a virtual chart platform where you can log in to see your visit notes and test results, schedule appointments, and message your provider.

Sustaining Your Support Network

Building a support network is one thing; maintaining it is a whole other effort. Here are some tips to keep your network strong and effective:

1. Regular Check-Ins
   Regularly check in with your support network. This could be through scheduled calls, messages, or meetings. It helps to keep everyone connected and aware of your current needs and any changes in your situation. I make an effort to check in with my friend chat groups regularly. Even if I’m not feeling it, this helps me to stay connected.
2. Express Gratitude
   Show appreciation for the support you receive. A simple thank you or a small gesture of appreciation can go a long way in maintaining healthy relationships.
3. Be Honest
   Be honest about what’s working and what’s not. If a particular type of support isn’t helpful or is becoming overwhelming, communicate clearly and kindly.
4. Adjust as Needed
   Your needs might change over time, and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to adjust your network and the support you’re receiving. 

Conclusion

Planning for needed supports is crucial for preventing and healing from Autistic burnout. You can reach out to family and friends, connect with people who have the same SPINs, hire out support for activities of daily living, and utilize technology. By building out your support

I hope this article provides you with the insights and tools you need to start building your network of support. In the next part of this series, we’ll delve into creating a sensory plan tailored to your needs. Until then, take care and remember: you are not alone on this journey.

Takeaways:

Think about the first steps you can take to start building or strengthening your support network. Who can you reach out to? What support can you ask for? Write down your thoughts and create a small action plan to get started.

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Let me know in the comments: How have you built your support network? What strategies have worked for you? What challenges have you faced in finding support? Your insights could help others in the community!